Double Dragon
Too Funny Game #7
Type of game
One of the oldest “damsel in distress” rescues in history, which turns into a very awkward family drama
Release date on our machines
1988, or April 1989, or 18 Brumaire, or Laser Game 37, 4166. We love the internet and all the random information floating around out there.
Developer
Technos Japan Corp., a major player in the beat 'em up genre, which faded from the spotlight along with the arcade craze.
Publisher
Melbourne House for the Atari ST—not Australian at all, and no longer in existence today. The legendary Taito for the arcade.
Double Dragon : available on GOG, Steam, and on the Nintendo Switch Online. However, the first two are arcade versions, and the third is an NES version. As for the Atari ST version, we can forget about it. I don't know if that's really such bad news, all things considered.
I can’t remember which machine I first saw this game running on, or whether I actually saw the first Double Dragon or the second. I must have been five or six years old, and it’s getting a bit tricky to pinpoint exactly what I remember from that age. All I know is that it happened at the house of one of my oldest friends, Terrence Dobermann. A lad I’ve never mentioned before, and I can’t even remember how I met him. At the local football club, in the under-10s team? Possibly. In any case, this lad fascinated me, particularly because he showed me a few gems on his computer (Amiga or Atari, no idea) set up in his back room. Yes, Terrence had his bedroom, a games room, and another small room at the back, just for the computer. But if I mention Double Dragon with certainty (and not the sequel), it’s also because I played it shortly afterwards at Randall Geyser’s house, on his Atari STE. The floppy disk had seen better days; I imagine it belonged to his older brother, but never mind. It was undoubtedly the first BTA I ever played, along with Golden Axe. We never finished it – I found it too hard – but we had a right good laugh playing it!
Double Encounter
I reckon we were still playing it now and then when the Atari was replaced by a computer running Windows 95 and all that came with it; so we didn’t stop by choice, but because the future and the rapid changes of the nineties swept us along, leaving poor brothers Billy and Jimmy Lee by the wayside. Sorry lads, you’re a thing of the past, but you know I couldn’t pay you a better compliment. Do you even deserve it? I’m not so sure, actually.
It lays the foundations, and the clichés
This is the story of a girl called Marian, who’s been kidnapped by a gang of really nasty blokes, and the bloodbath her boyfriend Billy unleashes to rescue her. Jimmy, his brother, might also join the adventure to lend Billy a hand, although in some respects, it would be better if he stayed at home (see the last paragraph for the conclusion to this thought). As for additional lore, there’s none to be found here. Perhaps the Black Warriors (the name of the gang members – it seems obvious, but anyway) have a good reason to hold a grudge against the two main characters and their girlfriends, whose perms are prettier than theirs? We could always discuss the ethical and moral implications of targeting women to hurt men, but I don’t think the developers intended to spark that sort of debate. What the developers did plan: bloke whose girlfriend’s been kidnapped = good guys; blokes who’ve kidnapped the good bloke’s girlfriend = bad guys. They planned to have this good dude go through rough neighbourhoods, a cut-throat factory, a dodgy park, and finally the gangsters’ headquarters.
Of course, the folks at Technos had made sure there were plenty of ways to beat up all those thugs. Apparently, there’s quite a wide range of moves available for the time. Back in 1987, there was still plenty left to invent in the world of side-scrolling beat ’em ups. Double Dragon certainly played its part in establishing some essential gameplay mechanics, by the way. Like the ability to team up with a second player, perform combo moves, grab and throw opponents… on Randall’s Atari, I mainly remember that we were constantly pressing the same button and jumping around like idiots, hoping to knock down the enemies around us. Even back then, we suspected the gameplay wasn’t as well-tuned as Golden Axe’s. The erratic animations and misleading hitboxes caused us a whole lot of trouble. We suffered some incredibly frustrating Game Overs, simply because we were playing a rather botched conversion of the great arcade title.
But we always went back to it, mainly because that slapdash game had us in stitches. The way our characters would lunge their feet forward, as if they were trying to amputate themselves; the satisfaction of watching our opponents fly through the air after landing a devastating lash with the whip. The whip – surely the best weapon in the entire history of video games, right? There were other weapons in there too, like the baseball bat, the knife, and big cans to throw at enemies’ heads… No iron bar yet like in Streets of Rage, but anyway, I preferred the whip, that’s all. Don’t go looking for some far-fetched reason for that, there isn’t one. Except that none of this beat our favourite moment: when some sort of ogre would burst out of the background, smashing through a brick wall, and crush our heads with both hands whilst bellowing non-stop. We’d be scared stiff before he appeared, then we’d be doubled up with laughter when he started clapping his arms together.
How many times did we re-enact that scene in the playground, in front of a crowd of kids who didn’t get the reference? Countless times when we came across as complete idiots. But hey, we also had fun pretending to be sucked into Mars like in Total Recall, or shooting at each other like in the film Commando, or the game Ikari Warriors. I don’t know what’s worse about the whole thing. Randall had given that famous character a name, I can’t quite remember which one; perhaps Abobo, come to think of it. I learnt much later that that was his official name. The villain, not my mate. There was something terribly frightening about his gaze, though, and even his general expression. Blimey, I was really scared of Abobo, honestly. Mind you, on the Atari ST, everyone looked absolutely dreadful. Yeah, the graphics took a real hit compared to the arcade version. It’s all Abobo’s fault.
Soundtrack down by a factor of ten
The music… well, another one of those Atari ST games that really gets to have any. Nothing apart from the intro theme, and OOOOH, it really hurts your eardrums; at least as much as a 56k modem, or the Death in Gauntlet II. It’s meant to imitate an electric guitar riff, I suppose, which fits in with the hairstyles everyone in the game seems to have borrowed from Led Zeppelin or Europe. Ultra-repetitive and super-short too! Geez! Ah, it’s the conversion of the Stage 1 music from the arcade version, I see. There were others to choose from, though. As for the sound effects, it’s not much better. Just a single thud when you hit an enemy, otherwise nothing. Even our foot, launched in the hope of detaching itself from our body, doesn’t make the slightest rustle. That said, you do hear some funny retching noises when someone dies, and of course Abobo’s absolutely hilarious belches. Thank goodness he exists, seriously.
Family First
If I never finished Double Dragon, I blame it all on its clunky gameplay. It’s a shame – I never got the chance to see my character face off against his brother in a final showdown to… hang on, to what? To see who gets to hook up with Marian? Isn’t she already in a relationship with Billy? Or with Jimmy? Oh well, I can’t remember either, which just goes to show, maybe this issue really does need to be settled with a good old punch-up. Seriously though, what’s the deal with a bloke beating up his own brother to steal his girlfriend? Did he plan this from the start of the game, or only after getting thrashed by Abobo? And Marian’s just going to say “OK” without a second glance at her boyfriend dying in a gutter? Hahahahah, no wonder the toxic men of my generation get such a massive following with their rubbish content. That sort of out-there storytelling has completely messed with their brains. But actually, maybe not, because apparently Gen Z are even worse when it comes to sickening content. Well, anyway, I’ll mainly remember Double Dragon for the memories that go with it.
Randall’s Abobo impressions, and the games room + secret alcove at Terrence Dobermann’s place. Seriously, the kid had model cars with parts that flipped over on impact, just to simulate a crumpled bodywork. SO COOL! That, and the books from Gründ Editions that I mention in the Fire Force article – just go and read it to find out which ones I’m talking about. Absolutely mad stuff. And also an even older computer that read cassettes instead of floppy disks, and loads of Cosmix figures. A house full of wonders. In any case, I’ve always considered Double Dragon to be a really cool game, and even a franchise; even though I’ve only just scratched the surface of the associated game library. I liked it enough to want to buy the Game Gear cartridge, a.k.a. one of the worst games on the console. Thanks a lot.
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